History
The
Compassionate Friends
was founded in Coventry, England, in 1969, following
the deaths of two young boys, Billy Henderson and
Kenneth Lawley, the previous spring. Billy and Kenneth
had died just three days apart in the Coventry and
Warwickshire Hospital where Rev. Simon Stephens was
Assistant to the Chaplain. Simon mentioned Billy's
death to Iris and Joe Lawley, and the Lawleys decided
to send flowers to Billy's funeral. They signed the
card simply, "Kenneth's parents," realizing that the
Hendersons would know who they were.
Bill
and Joan Henderson then invited the Lawleys over for
tea, and an immediate bond was formed as the two couples
spoke freely about their boys, sharing their memories
and the dreams that had died with Billy and Kenneth.
They continued to get together regularly, and young
Rev. Stephens, then only 23, encouraged them to invite
other newly bereaved parents to join them. In 1969,
another grieving mother accepted their invitation
to meet with Simon and the two couples. They decided
to organize as a self-help group and actively begin
reaching out to newly bereaved parents in their community.
Because the word "compassionate" kept coming up, this
new organization was called "The Society of the
Compassionate Friends."
Simon
became a chaplain in the British Royal Navy in the
70's. He was met by bereaved parents at ports around
the world, and he helped them to develop their own
chapters. TCF had become well-known through U.K. and
U.S.A. editions of such magazines as Time and
Good Housekeeping. Paula and Arnold Shamres
of Florida read Simon's interview in Time magazine
and invited him to visit them in Florida and speak
to bereaved parents there. He did, and the Shamres
subsequently founded the first U.S. chapter in 1972.
Word of the organization spread rapidly through interest
generated by the Phil Donahue Show and the columns
of Dear Abby and Ann Landers.
The
Compassionate Friends was incorporated in the United
States as a non-profit organization in 1978. In 1989,
The Compassionate Friends of Great Britain dedicated
a plaque commemorating the founding of the organization,
at the Coventry and Warwickshire Hospital where TCF
had begun. The plaque was unveiled by their patron,
Countess Mountbatten, herself a bereaved parent. Then
in November, 1994, Queen Elizabeth presented Iris
Lawley with a medal, The Most Excellent Order of the
British Empire, in recognition of her work on behalf
of TCF.
There
are now Compassionate Friends chapters in every state
in the United States - almost 600 altogether - and
hundreds of chapters in Canada, Great Britain and
other countries throughout the world. In the United
States, chapters are open to all bereaved parents,
siblings, grandparents and other family members who
are grieving the death of a child of any age, from
any cause.
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